


minor casualties

by guide_to_the_galaxy



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, in which donnie is just...so so tired, okay so tmnt 2012 is still riddled with a ton of angst to dig up okay, thats the good thing about that show, tired boys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-09-17 09:21:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16971921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guide_to_the_galaxy/pseuds/guide_to_the_galaxy
Summary: Donnie's good with number, and he knows the odds pretty well. They were never meant to fight this war, but they are.And they can't keep losing.





	minor casualties

**Author's Note:**

> so like i was rummaging through some things i was far too lazy to get uploaded but one of my favorite things about tmnt 2012 is the fact that it's a goldmine for angsty writers and sometimes you just gotta reflect on your roots
> 
> so enjoy my Two Tired Boys hashing it out over the effects of their father's war based off of a prompt i got on tumblr

“Donnie,” Leo says in a voice that’s trying- really, really trying- not to give away the frustration he’s built up because they’re all tired and Donnie  _just won’t quit,_ “Sleeping on your desk doesn’t count. So we’ll do this the easy way or my way.”

And the thing is, Leo never means to let himself go that far; and then there’s the jumbled way his words come tumbling out when he’s around Donnie that makes him wince. Because he  _says those things_ and when it echoes and he’s left to hear himself, Leonardo doesn’t like the way it sounds.

But Donnie’s unreadable, his face blank and he stares numbly at the parts beneath him and empty hands trembling there like he’s got no idea what to do with them anymore. Leo decides he doesn’t like that either- like all the other things he doesn’t like, wishes he could change. Like the extra empty room they have or that silence that he swears was always there but it’s screaming now and it’s hollow now.

Like the way Donnie turns to look through him and not at him and  _smirks._

 _“Good job, Donnie.”_ he says, and laughs, kneeling to pick up some parts from the floor, “Good job- that’s what you said, right? I-I can’t really…remember. Adrenaline and all that, y’know.”

He chuckles again, and it’s bitter and dry and Leo’s left reeling from how it penetrates him.

Donnie shakes his head, “You know it’s pretty much ridiculous at this point- how bad at this we are, Leo. This team thing- this uniformed mind? Yeah, Leo I don’t know what Splinter told you was  _destined to happen_  but that- it won’t…not here- with us.”

Donnie’s thoughts are all over the place and so are Leo’s; he watches his brother pace around and tries to conjure up some way to defend himself, and his father and everything he believed in that his brother didn’t.

“Murder…” he squares his shoulders instead of thinking, “Is  _wrong-_ Donnie you know…it’s the last thing we do. Always. No matter what- I was only doing what father-”

“Yeah well Father never  _had_  to worry _-”_ Donnie throws down the scraps of metal and under the swinging lights of the lair he almost looks dead, eyes glossy and wide, “He never had to worry about that because he sent us out to  _do his job._  He didn’t even  _see_ halfof _what we did_  and you know what? That’s fine- cool, yeah okay…yeah it- but he never saw it, he’ll never see any of it. And…we can’t lose anymore, Leo.” 

Something deflates in Donnie as he sags, gripping the back of his seat.

“We can’t keep losing.”

Leo swallows and cuts his eyes away from Donnie to the floor, because this is his brother and because Leo knows somewhere in the places he’s suppressed that he’s a soldier. No matter how hard he just wanted to be a son. So now they’re broken and Donnie’s broken and he’s losing it.

Maybe they were tired of the same things, or of all different things- Leo didn’t really know. But he loves his brother and can’t lose him. Not over this.

“We won’t…Donnie, I promise we’re…we’ll end this- everything. But not working ourselves to death trying to do it, alright? And not…going off the handle either.”

Donnie doesn’t look at him so Leo gets closer and turns his brother’s head to look at his, finds his eyes and stays there.

“Alright?”

“…I can’t.” Donnie says, his voice breaking in between, and Leo knows he means it. 

Donnie won’t slow down until it’s all over; they programmed him that way and Leo hates it. Hates that  _this-_  this is everything they could have stopped and that who they are now is all a product of his father’s war. 

And it’ll take a million fixed pieces for them to get back to where they were, when they were just brothers and not competitors, not rivals. And they might never get there, but Leo was going to try. So he lets their silence sit, and hopes that Donnie will be patient enough to let him fix all the things he’s broken.

And when the silence goes too long, Leonardo thinks he’ll start with something old and familiar.

“You um…you looked pretty scary though- out there.” he says, and Donnie snickers wetly, scrubbing his face with his forearm.

“Yeah? What, was it like uh…like a Captain Ryan Episode Seventy-three cool scary?” 

Leo cups Donnie’s shoulder, slick with sweat and still tense, and gives it a firm shake and staring, he sees his brother again- he sees his innocence and those small, fragile, curious and forgotten parts of him, “Oh definitely…yeah. And Dee?” 

Donnie lifts his head up, eyes shifting from Leo the floor.

“Sleeping on your desk still doesn’t count.”

**Author's Note:**

> short lil drabble! glad i got to dump this here for you guys :D i just hope in some timeline, donnie gets some rest? also feel free to leave any prompt ideas at my tumblr yo


End file.
